breaking celebrity news!

It was a big day for me, celebrity gossip-wise. Let's get right to the nitty gritty.

1. You know it's big when 3 different people contact me before noon to make sure I know about it. Mike texted me, Allison (friend from work) called me, and Alfred emailed me, all to tell me that Holly and Hef have broken up! And - shocker of shockers - she broke up with him! Now, for any of you poor souls who do not watch the fine program "The Girls Next Door," this is quite a big deal. This girl has been deluding herself into thinking that Hef is her soul mate, that he's going finally to divorce his wife and have babies with her and she'll live happily ever after with all his money when he finally kicks it. For some reason, she has finally come to terms with the fact that it's never gonna happen, and has left him. Well, not really left him, but moved out of his bedroom at least. It's a start, I guess. I mean, who is she without him? Just some blonde with a fake nose and tits. Seriously though, this is pretty earth shattering stuff, at least for some of us.

2. Guess who's in town auditioning skanks/potential soul mates for a few days?

Yup, Bret Michaels. His busses were parked in the TSA lot (our downtown office) so I pulled a stealth paparazzi move to take a couple of pictures. Either he's eternally optimistic about his chances of finding true love on a reality show, or he's just trying desperately to hang on to the last shreds of his fame. I'm guessing the latter. But then, I'm a cynical bitch. The women in the TSA office got to see a bunch of girls coming off of the bus earlier today. As you might guess, they were not the most demure looking bunch.

3. Perhaps the most important finding of my day. Apparently parts of Pirates of the Caribbean 3 were filmed at the Fountain of Youth, and apparently parts of the 4th installment will be as well. Last time they were filming there, Johnny Depp moved into a house nearby so he wouldn't have to travel very far. So, if all of this is true, which I believe it to be, Johnny Depp will be living within 2 miles of my place of employment. You better believe I'll be pulling plenty of stalker-paparazzi moves if I find out when he's in town. I mean, he is one fine looking man. And he's cool, which is very important. So I'll let you know when I get rich from selling candid photos of him to Us Weekly.