How are you? I am well. Now that we've exchanged pleasantries, do you mind if I get a little personal? Lovely, thank you.
Now, I'm a girl, so I pee sitting down. But I hear that most of you tend to void your bladders while in the standing position. I also hear that you have a nifty little appendage that you can aim towards the toilet, which presumably makes it easier to hit your target.
So why, pray tell, do I find myself cleaning up puddles of urine on the men's bathroom floor at work on a regular basis? Maybe it's just the younger members of your species. Today, for example, I went into the men's restroom after several classes had eaten lunch. There was a large puddle on the floor, directly between the urinal and a toilet. It was such a large puddle that I actually used paper towels to push the fluid into the urinal instead of just soaking it up (I was wearing rubber gloves). In other words, it was disgusting. Unfortunately, today was not an isolated incident. The men's room regularly reeks of urine from the young men visiting our fine establishment. And I can always tell when some of them have been in the unisex, wheelchair-accessible stall. Puddles, puddles everywhere, cause they've had too much to drink. I'll save the non-urine messes for another day. And to be fair, those aren't always the boys.So, gentlemen. If it's really that far of a distance from you to the toilet, or your aim is really that poor, perhaps you should consider taking a seat. There's nothing to be ashamed of. Parents, please feel free to teach your young charges the fun in aiming for the center of the toilet bowl. Yeah, the rim can be fun, and the floor's always a blast, but hey, why not the water? Peeing in the toilet: it's the gift that keeps on giving.
Thank you for your time.
5 comments:
Put a small container of Cheerios near the men's room door. Invite the patrons of your establishment to toss a few in the bowl and play sink the battleship while peeing. (It also works wonders when a little boy starts to pee standing up.)
Seriously, if you send a list of rules to the teachers before they arrive, maybe include a word about bathroom use or tell them they will have to pee on the curb.
I can assure you it is not just young men! At my old office the employee bathrooms were always a mess (they were individual bathrooms, so unisex), and no one in them was under 18. Ick! At least it's not a problem at our homes, right?
only when I'm mad at Tracy and leave a puddle between the toilet and the sink. That'll show her!
So. gross.
Apparently the urinals in Amsterdam airport have little pictures of a fly etched in them, which gives the men something to aim at. Supposedly it works wonders. Has anyone else ever heard of that?
Ingo and I are flying through there on our way to Boston. I'll have to get him to verify this rumor!
I've seen those bug stickers in a few different places. I've considered buying those, but I don't know that they'd work for toilets. And no, I'm not putting Cheerios in the bathroom, pretty sure they'd just end up crushed on the floor and I'd be cleaning up pee soaked Cheerios crumbs.
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