I'm going to hell

On Friday night we went to this guy's house to check out something Alfred found on Craig's list. After he showed us what we came to see (a barge to rent to fix our dock, if you're interested) he was just showing us all the other stuff he has. He had I think 5 or 6 boats in his driveway, all in different stages of being redone, he showed us this huge work space with tools and all sorts of other things just hanging everywhere, he's got a stash of used PVC pipe that he picks up and saves, he owns all these rental properties that he's worked on and redone, he makes dog houses... all sorts of crazy things. He was big into "recycling," aka garbage picking. Very interesting though, I mean nothing is wasted with this dude.

So we're talking to him for close to an hour when he asks what church we go to. Now, being from the north, I get a little weirded out when people ask me this, but I hear it fairly regularly down here (at least when I meet new people). Alfred makes up some answer about how he used to go to this church with his family but we just moved so we haven't found a church yet, blah blah. Then he turns to Alfred and asks:

Dude: Are you saved?
Alfred: Uh, yes.
Dude: good, a personal relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in the world, blah blah. (he turns to me) Are you saved?
Me: No. (he just looks at me) Sorry.

He then goes on about how having Jesus Christ in his heart is what keeps him going and Jesus gave him all these skills and he's so happy and he just lurves him some Jesus. He goes on lecturing for a bit, then turns to Alfred again:

Dude: When you go to heaven and Jesus asks you why you should be allowed into heaven, what are you going to say?
Alfred: Geez, that's a tough one...
Dude: No, it's not. It's the easiest one.
Alfred: (makes up some stuff about God being number 1. The dude doesn't look impressed.) Well, what's your answer?
Dude: I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. That's the only answer that will get you into heaven. Doesn't matter what kind of person you are, as long as you accept Jesus as your personal Savior.

He told us about 57 times we need to go to his church. And, big shocker: he's a Baptist. Figures. Baptists, in my experience, are bat-shit crazy. I think there's a requirement in their religion to try to save people they meet, which I guess is why he was pushing us so hard to come to his church.

It reminded me of this one time, at band camp, at the museum, I was talking to a mom and she was asking me about the churches in the area. Thinking she was talking about visiting them for tourist reasons (considering she was there as a tourist) I started telling her about the different historical churches downtown. Then she asks me which church I went to. I told her I didn't, because I lived half an hour away (not the only reason, but hey, it's not her damn business.) Then she asked me if I wanted a close, personal relationship with Jesus. Her crazy potential was finally starting to dawn on me, so I kind of stammered out an "uh, sure?" So she grabs my hand, hold it up in the air, and starts praying to Jesus for me. I came to my senses, took my hand back and said I had to leave. The best part was, as I was telling my boss about it, she starts saying how if I ever have any questions or want to learn more about Jesus or her church she can help me. Apparently she didn't think it was as funny as I did.

Do I radiate a sense of Godlessness or something? Or do I just naturally attract the Jesus freaks? I guess I am a yankee...