practicing

The video is a little dark, so I hope you can see it. Tabitha's been practicing a very important movement for the past few days.

riding my second wind

I was texting Mike on my drive home from work and he just told me to stop texting him and go blog. Cause he's demanding like that. Luckily I'm buzzing hard on M&Ms, but I have a feeling I've got about 10 minutes before I crash. Clock's ticking. I don't even have the camera to post pictures to go with what I write, so that sucks. Anyway. Our weekend was fun. I realized just now that the picture with my post from Easter is awfully strange looking, what with the blanket on Mike's head and him jamming a pole into a lightbulb. Goes well with the title. He was actually painting the ceiling.

On the Monday after Easter, Jesus ran into some friends of his. "Hey Jesus, how was your weekend?" they asked. "Well," he replied, "Saturday was hell."

We also drank a bunch. Surprise! We only did one power hour though I think, after which I blogged from my phone while sitting on the back porch. I think that was Friday? Yeah cause then I made my cake. Oh, sweet baby Jesus, was that tasty. I wish I could find those damn cookies here so I caould make it again. I made a few ice cream sandwiches with the leftovers and we had them for breakfast on Saturday. Delicioso. I guess since I can't buy them here, it makes it more special when I do have them. Mike bought them at Fort Benning before he came down.

Oh right, drinking. I was tipsy twice on Easter. Once when I blogged when we were on our way to K Mart, and then again when Robyn forced me to drink lots of strong Eastery drinks. She had Mike triple fisting at one point. He and Alfred did Irish car bombs.

We also went shooting, bought a bunch of shit to furnish a model house, ate enough sugar to fell a donkey, took ice cold showers due to an extremely slow water heater, and decorated Easter eggs. And right now it's almost 11:15, I still have to pack a bag for tomorrow night, and I'm getting up at 6:30 for work. My car is jammed to capacity with more stuff for the model house and 7 cases of water for work. Cause our internet there has been down for 2 days so I haven't been able to order it to have it delivered. Curses! Tomorrow after work I'm heading up to do some more painting, then Saturday I'm working on the model in the morning and working in the afternoon. Oh yeah, I only worked a half day last Friday and took last Monday off! It was rad!

When you search google images for the word "radical" you get these radical cheerleaders. I smell like sunscreen. Ok, I hope this holds you over for a few days, Mike.

work anecdotes

It seems that all I've been doing these days is work, so here are a few little stories for you.

Exhibit A: In one of my programs today, the one black kid in my group wrote his name on his paper, then wrote "aka White Chocolate."

Exhibit B: A week or so ago I was walking a group into the archaeology program. One little girl was talking to me about how much she liked fossils, etc. Then she asked me "are you going to teach us the theory of evolution or the theory of creationism?" I told her neither, that we were only talking about people who lived a thousand years ago. Then she went on to say "I believe in the theory of creationism. Because when you start really looking into the theory of evolution, you see that it's really just a bunch of dead ends." Precocious, huh? A little sad, too. So brainwashed already at the age of ten.

Exhibit C: A little girl puked in a garbage can today. Guess who got to clean it up?

Tonight I finally finished folding and ironing clothes that have been spread out across the couch for 2 weeks. We're trying to catch up on 2 weeks of tv. Tomorrow I'll be at work from 9:00 until about 8:30. It's gonna be awesome!

some more weekend pics, aka fun with rowdy

Like I was telling Katherine and Katie the other day, I like having busy weekends because it gives me 2 days worth of blog fodder. Yay for one less pointless post!

We had lots of fun with Rowdy. I guess neither of them had ever met him, but they were quite pleased to make his acquaintance. He's a good dog. Actually, we determined this weekend that Rowdy is a she. It'll be tough to make the switch. Old habits die hard. Aw, look at what a good dog Rowdy's being.

Rowdy! Out of the trash!

Down, Rowdy! Get down! Be a good girl!

That's better, Rowdy. Dance with Auntie Katherine. Good dog!

In other news, Katherine is engaged! Congrats to her and Jevon! That's her hand (and ring) on the top right, Katie's is on the left, mine is at the bottom. 2 engaged hoes at once, now it's just a race to the altar.

And finally, a nice beach shot.

If you guys lived in Florida, we could do this all the time!

all messed up

My days are all screwed up now. I worked all day today and am taking tomorrow off, as is Alfred. Since I was off yesterday, it feels like Monday to me, and tomorrow is going to totally mess with my head. But then I'll feel like I only had a 4 day work week, so that will be cool. By the way, it was 35 degrees when I got to work at 8:00 this morning. I think that's legitimately cold.

So here's a funny little story. Back a few years ago, when Alfred had his 4 runner, he left his hatchback open one day when he was visiting a job site for work. This stupid ass squirrel decided to get inside his car and come along with him. Then the damn thing wouldn't get out! He left the back open when he got home and it wouldn't run out. So we took it out to dinner with us. It kept skittering around the back of the car, all freaked out. When we came out of the restaurant, Alfred opened the back again. Suddenly the squirrel came flying out the back of the car and ran like hell. Then we drove home, no longer afraid that a crazed rodent would jump on us from the backseat. The End.

belated anniversary

Tony and Cathy's anniversary was last week, the 13th, and I realized that I forgot to blog about it. Looking at the pictures made me want to post some, although I decided to stick with normal ones since we're so young looking, instead of going for the funny ones. We took a road trip out to MN for the wedding, we were so young.

Aw, aren't they cute. I guess that's why they made such cute kids. I don't really remember the cake, but I bet it was good.

Until our own wedding, this was the only picture we had of us together in nice clothes and posing nicely. We used this picture for our wedding announcement in the paper, Robyn gave away frames with this picture in it for rehearsal dinner favors... I feel like we used it more, but I can't remember.

The best part of of this one is Katie. She was only 12. I was 20. One of Tony's relatives on his mom's side thought Katie was me. It was a little embarrassing.

Ok, I know I said no funny pictures, but how could I resist this one?

Friday wrap up

Just a couple of quick things. First, in case you didn't catch it in the comments, my mom has promised to have warm chocolate chip cookies waiting for me at the door when we go up for Thanksgiving. Between those and all the pizza and wings I plan to eat, I don't know that I even need to bother with Thanksgiving itself.

Second, I was reading an article online the other day that said that Obama used to smoke and has been working on quitting during his campaign. In the same article it said that he exercises 6 times a week and generally has to wake up extra early to fit in his workout, losing sleep for the sake of exercise. The following conversation then took place between me and Alfred:

me: I'm just like Barack Obama!
Alfred: Yeah, you smoke and you're black.
me: No, I sacrifice sleep so I can exercise.
Alfred: And you're a man.

I guess it was funnier in person.

Third: a couple of pictures of the sunset as seen from our back porch last night:

Very pretty. And that is all, have a lovely weekend!

two stories and a link

This happened last week as we were driving to the office. Alfred was driving, and all of a sudden slammed on the brakes and went from about 40mph to about 20.

me: What are you doing?
Alfred: It's a school zone.
me: Um, school's not in...
Alfred: Oh yeah, it's the weekend.
me: No, it's Wednesday.
(we laugh)
Alfred: Right, I forgot. I guess I got confused because they just put that flashing light in at that intersection.
me: (laughing) No they didn't, it's always been there!


The other funny thing is my dream the other night. I was dreaming that I was in the car and Alfred was loading a tray of food in at my feet. The food started to slide off the tray, so I leaned forward really fast to catch it before it hit the floor. I also apparently leaned forward in real life, because I woke myself up and was sitting straight up in bed. It took me a good 10 seconds to figure out where the hell I was. It was like something out of a movie, except I wasn't having a nightmare. Weird.

And 1 last thing. This video is funny, especially to an old married woman like me.

ok, this is a bit much

I stayed at this huge house all by myself last night. It was a little scary, just because it's so big, and especially because Alfred found out yesterday that the alarm goes off sometimes when it's windy because one of the doors rattles. I could just imagine it going off in the middle of the night and scaring the shit out of me. But just now was even weirder. I'm in the kitchen when I hear this beeping and a mechanical voice. I jump up, thinking it's the doorbell, but no one's there. Then I think a door has been opened or something and someone's breaking in. But there's an alarm panel right there, and it's still activated and not showing anything. So I disarm it, just in case. Then as I'm walking back to the kitchen I see a little post office truck. As I get back to the kitchen the doorbell rings, I go get a package from the guy, he leaves. Then I hear the beep and mechanical voice again, but this time I can make out "driveway." We knew they had a motion sensor at the gate across the driveway, so apparently it's activated now and literally speaks to you to tell you when someone has entered or exited your driveway! How freaking crazy is that?? Ok, and just for you people (Alfred and Katie) who demand pictures, here's what the bed looked like this morning when I got up:

I built myself a nice, cozy little nest!

I'm kind of cranky

I've been in kind of a grouchy mood all day. These are the days that Alfred will not miss if/when I get a new job. He said he read an article that said working out too much can make you angry. Maybe that's it, ha! I did talk to Lindsay a little while ago, so that cheered me up a bit. I need some more friends around here.

Anyway. We went home last night. Good thing, because my plant was almost dead.


So I gave it some water, and by this morning it looked much happier.

Good thing it's so resilient. It would have died like 38 times by now if it was more delicate. My azaleas were fine too, because it finally actually rained. Now we're only under a medium fire risk (which is good, it's been extremely high or something like that for weeks). I also got to catch up on some tv. Good thing it's summer, we only have a couple shows to keep up with.

Super exciting post today, huh. That's what happens when I'm cranky, I have nothing to talk about. Well, nothing other than "I want to go home and go to sleep" or "I want some chocolate." So here's a funny billboard that's up right now for the zoo.

It says "Everyone's favorite summer treat" and there's a picture of an ice cream cone, another ice cream cone, and a bald eagle. It just cracks me up. I prefer my frozen bald eagle treat in a dish, actually. Seriously, is this what they were really going for?

1930's marital test

Ok, this is really funny. You should really go here and take this test, if only to see how funny the different items are. It's pretty quick. It rates what kind of husband or wife you are, and apparently is from the 1930's. I took it and got:

39 As a 1930s wife, I am Poor Take the test!

Poor Alfred, he has a terrible wife. That's what he gets for marrying a woman who doesn't darn socks. Then I wanted to see what the husband questions were, so I took it for Alfred. He did great!

79 As a 1930s husband, I am Very Superior Take the test!

In other news, we're going home tonight! Woo hoo!

exciting night, and Katie's craptastic morning

So, first things first. Last night I made a key lime pie with meringue. It's my first meringue pie, so I hope it's good. It looks good.


I also made a loaf of bread, but it wasn't pretty enough to take a picture of. And we made granola. It's like crack to me. Sweet, crunchy crack.

The other accomplishment: I beat the Legend of Zelda! Yes, I took a picture. We didn't get a picture of the last screen when I won cause it scrolled by before we grabbed the camera. I guess Link and Zelda had to go make out. No, I didn't have a mouse in my pocket, Alfred came downstairs to watch my victory. And offer some tips.


I started the second quest, but it's hard again cause I lost all the cool weapons and power I had from the other game. I'll probably start looking for websites for help/to cheat. Or give up.

And now for the exciting-in-a-bad-way news. Katie called a little after 10 last night: her car had died on her way home from work. So Alfred went to pick her up, and we drove her back there this morning (she got to sit on my lap, since our only car is a 2 seater) so it could get towed.


Turns out the timing belt is shot and with the potential damage she's looking at at least $2000. Not worth it, considering she/we bought it for less than that. So, Katie has no car. Luckily her classes are over, but 2 of her friends were supposed to be flying down next week and all three of them were going to drive back to NY for Katie to spend the summer up there. Not anymore!

The best part is, Katie called me a few minutes ago. Right after she got off the phone with my mom, her phone died. She was right next to a Radio Shack, so she went to try to buy a new charger, but of course they didn't have any. So she had to go buy a phone card, find a phone book, look up the number for the mall she works at, call to get the number for the store she works at, call there, get phone numbers for a couple of her friends, and then try to find someone who was able to pick her up and take her back home. I was just laughing. I mean, what else can you do? It could be worse, she could have broken down in the middle of West Virginia on her drive home. West Virginia sucks.

Fun with Young Children

Scene 1: church, during one of the hymns

Ella: Is there only a piano at this church?
Katie: Yup, just a piano.
Ella: No trumpets?
Katie: Nope, no trumpets.
Ella: Not even any cymbals?
Katie: Nope, just a piano.
(pause)
Ella: Trombones are my favorite.

(I don't know what kind of church this kid's been going to, but it sounds entertaining.)


Scene 2: the living room of my parents' house

Ella (coming up from the basement): Uncle Mike, they won't let me do whatever I want.


Scene 3: the basement of my parents' house

Kristin: Ella's uncle told me that I was in charge of the lights cause I'm the biggest kid here.
Me: Yup, that's right.
Kristin (worried): Well, did he tell Ella they were going to take over the world?

(yes, yes he did)


Scene 3: photography studio

Cathy carries Mason into the studio. He's a little cranky and doesn't want to cooperate. He's rubbing his face, and eventually his finger makes it into his nose. When he pulls it out and holds it up, there's a giant booger on the tip of his finger.

I'm going to hell

On Friday night we went to this guy's house to check out something Alfred found on Craig's list. After he showed us what we came to see (a barge to rent to fix our dock, if you're interested) he was just showing us all the other stuff he has. He had I think 5 or 6 boats in his driveway, all in different stages of being redone, he showed us this huge work space with tools and all sorts of other things just hanging everywhere, he's got a stash of used PVC pipe that he picks up and saves, he owns all these rental properties that he's worked on and redone, he makes dog houses... all sorts of crazy things. He was big into "recycling," aka garbage picking. Very interesting though, I mean nothing is wasted with this dude.

So we're talking to him for close to an hour when he asks what church we go to. Now, being from the north, I get a little weirded out when people ask me this, but I hear it fairly regularly down here (at least when I meet new people). Alfred makes up some answer about how he used to go to this church with his family but we just moved so we haven't found a church yet, blah blah. Then he turns to Alfred and asks:

Dude: Are you saved?
Alfred: Uh, yes.
Dude: good, a personal relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in the world, blah blah. (he turns to me) Are you saved?
Me: No. (he just looks at me) Sorry.

He then goes on about how having Jesus Christ in his heart is what keeps him going and Jesus gave him all these skills and he's so happy and he just lurves him some Jesus. He goes on lecturing for a bit, then turns to Alfred again:

Dude: When you go to heaven and Jesus asks you why you should be allowed into heaven, what are you going to say?
Alfred: Geez, that's a tough one...
Dude: No, it's not. It's the easiest one.
Alfred: (makes up some stuff about God being number 1. The dude doesn't look impressed.) Well, what's your answer?
Dude: I have accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. That's the only answer that will get you into heaven. Doesn't matter what kind of person you are, as long as you accept Jesus as your personal Savior.

He told us about 57 times we need to go to his church. And, big shocker: he's a Baptist. Figures. Baptists, in my experience, are bat-shit crazy. I think there's a requirement in their religion to try to save people they meet, which I guess is why he was pushing us so hard to come to his church.

It reminded me of this one time, at band camp, at the museum, I was talking to a mom and she was asking me about the churches in the area. Thinking she was talking about visiting them for tourist reasons (considering she was there as a tourist) I started telling her about the different historical churches downtown. Then she asks me which church I went to. I told her I didn't, because I lived half an hour away (not the only reason, but hey, it's not her damn business.) Then she asked me if I wanted a close, personal relationship with Jesus. Her crazy potential was finally starting to dawn on me, so I kind of stammered out an "uh, sure?" So she grabs my hand, hold it up in the air, and starts praying to Jesus for me. I came to my senses, took my hand back and said I had to leave. The best part was, as I was telling my boss about it, she starts saying how if I ever have any questions or want to learn more about Jesus or her church she can help me. Apparently she didn't think it was as funny as I did.

Do I radiate a sense of Godlessness or something? Or do I just naturally attract the Jesus freaks? I guess I am a yankee...

let's go to the beach!

So I had part of an easter cookie and split a piece of cake with Katie last night, and this morning I had lost 1 1/2 pounds! I can work with that.

We dropped Katie off at the airport this morning, she's going home for a long weekend. Apparently it snowed there last night and is only supposed to get into the 40s the whole time she's there. The whole time we were in the car they were doing weather reports like every 5 minutes, saying how it's going to be a gorgeous weekend, 80s every day, clear skies. Man, were they rubbing it in! By the way, for all you cold weather people, this is the beach by our house. Doesn't it look nice and warm? If you came to visit, you could go here. Katie is going to be back home for the summer, so if you come then, we have a great place you can stay!

I meant to mention this yesterday, when we were driving to work (with our windows open since it was so nice out, of course) we kept smelling this very particular smokey smell on and off. We suspected the car in front of us had something to do with it, but when we passed them at one point we didn't see anything. Then they got in front of us again and we smelled it some more. Finally we passed them again, and the driver was holding a rather distinctive little cigarette. I didn't know people actually did things like that, at 10am no less. I don't understand the appeal of driving, wouldn't you rather be at home on your couch, all comfy? Not that I would know personally, of course. I'm far too pure and innocent.

I love Fridays

I'm so glad it's Friday. I feel like it's been a long time since last weekend. I have lots of big plans to clean the house and sit on my ass. And make a carrot cake. Now how about a peep show?


Transition... I hate the show The Hills. Never seen it, but still hate it. Mainly because those bitches are everywhere! Why are they famous?? I get Us Weekly (don't judge me) and every single week while the show is on, and maybe every other week when it's not, there's an article in there about one of the girls from the show. Most of the time it's mentioned on the cover. I went to the website once and there were ads for the show all over the place, so I'm guessing it's some good advertising deal, the show pays for ads on the website and the magazine put "stories" about it in their magazine to get more people to watch the show. I hate it! Drives me crazy!

Another transition... I would now like to mention the sentence Alfred uttered this morning on the way to work: "I wish we could have a baby now." Those may not have been his exact words, but to be honest I'm still in shock he said it at all, so my memory may be slightly hazy. He also said (as he has before) that if Tony and Cathy lived down here with the kids we'd have one (or at least be trying) by now. So I blame you guys that it hasn't happened yet. :) We only have 1 couple we're friends with locally with a kid, and luckily she's super cute so whenever we hang out with them I think Alfred considers it more. If we had more cute kids around I think I could break his spirit, I mean make him realize he's ready for us to have one now. I know, we should be more prepared financially first, but... it's hard to be patient!

3 funny things

First funny thing: I got a mass email from Cornell asking for volunteers to contact prospective students to convince them to go there. (It's actually from a scholarship program I was in there, so if you went to Cornell and didn't get contacted, don't get offended.) Since then 2 people have hit "reply all" and emailed everyone all of their contact info. There's a few hundred email addresses on that email, at least. I feel like I should prank call them or sign them up for some porn sites or something to teach them a lesson.

Second funny thing: on our way to work today, we almost ran over a black hammer in the road. I've heard of a fork in the road, but a black hammer? I've never even seen a black hammer before. Silver hammer, yes. But not black. Very strange.

Third funny thing: this video from Mercedes!