Story involving pus

So about a year ago (probably more, because I'm pretty sure Katie was still living down here) we we're having a bonfire one night and drinking. Somehow I managed to get a splinter in my knee. Now, I am rather splinter prone, but the knee was an impressive location even for me. I was able to pull most of it out, but it broke and some was left under the skin. I wanted to use a razor blade to just make a little cut and get the rest out, but Alfred wouldn't let me. He said it would come out on its own. So I left it. It healed over, leaving a little dark bump under the skin as evidence.

Fast forward about a year, to maybe 6 or 8 weeks ago. I noticed the bump was a little swollen. So I squeezed it. Cause that's what I do. All sorts of pus came oozing out, it was great. I cleaned it up and left it alone for awhile. A few weeks later, I did it again. This time I used a needle to poke around and see if I could get the rest of the splinter out. No dice. About three days ago, I squeezed it again. Then last night I was looking at it and poking at it a bit and noticed a bit of a scab. So I picked at it, which is actually very unusual for me. I'm a squeezer, not a scab picker. Well, the scab didn't move. So I used my nails to get a better grip and pulled. And kept pulling. Out came an almost inch long, skinny dark thing. It was the freaking splinter! It had been all coiled up or something, and had finally worked its way to the surface! And now it's out! Turns out Alfred was right all along. And now I have 1 less bit of foreign matter in my body.