a little something for the ladies

I wrote an open letter to the young gentlemen of the world awhile back. I'd find that post and link to it here, but the keyboard and mouse I'm using suck far too much to go through that much effort. I'm using the internet on our tv! It's rad. Anyway, here's a little message to the young ladies so that they don't feel left out.

Girls. I know you're only trying to help. I'm sure there's no other reason for your behavior in public restrooms. I know that you're trying to save the environment by not flushing the toilets, saving water and whatnot. Or maybe it's because you've been trained not to touch public restrooms and don't want to touch the flush lever either. Well, I'm here to tell you that neither you nor the whales will die because of flushing the toilet. It's ok, trust me. I do it all the time. Hell, I apparently do it more often than you do, because I'm constantly having to flush after people.

There's also that minor issue with the toilet paper. In the toilet works best, ladies. And I know it's super fun to spin the dispenser to get to the next roll, but it's best if you wait until the current roll is actually gone before you spin it. Otherwise you end up with three little mini rolls that run out too soon. That's no help to anyone.

Then we have the sink area. I'm sure you're just trying to keep things clean by pouring soap and water all over the floor, counter, and sink, but we have these things called "old ladies" who like to slip and fall. Oh, and that round thing under the paper towel dispenser? That's where the used paper towels go. It's called a trash can. It's where all the happy used paper towels go. Send them home, girls. Send them home.

In closing, people of all ages and sexes are disgusting. The End.